Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Old rant is Old

Was digging around in my backed up documents folder and came across this rant I wrote back in the end of of May, may be old but I'm sure it will still be relevant to some of you. Be warned, the anger level is HIGH. Pfft, this is an anything we feel like discussing blog and we sure do love to rage so it's highly appropriate.

Megan Fox is a big dumb cunt. A stunningly self aware dumb cunt, but one nonetheless. She at least realizes that she's in Hollywood due to her looks and not for any sort of acting talent. What she doesn't realize is that she has no talent, other than looking relatively decent in tight clothes with her mouth closed. From now on reporters for magazines such as Maxim, please interview her with your microphone off. I know you want soundbytes for your juicy little article, but trust me, nobody's reading. Nobody wants to hear what these vapid little Hollywood bitches have to say, we just want to see the pictures. You'd move a lot more mags if you got rid of those pesky words and replace them with pics of Megan Fox, et. al. in varying degrees of naked.

To finally get to the point of this rant, (old news is so exciting, etc) for some reason MSN just stumbled upon a bit of news I read ages ago on Fark.com (PLUG), that is an interview about Megan Fox about the role of Wonder Woman. God knows why the reporter was listening to hype stirred up by horny fanboys with their hands on their dicks, but they mentioned that she was being considered (don't know by who) to play Princess Diana of Themyscira (dumb bitch probably doesn't know any of that anyway) and asked her if she'd take the role.

The bitch said no (Hallelujah!). We didn't want her anyway. Sure she looks good in tights, but she has neither the stature nor the body, nor the ability to convince us that she has the intelligence to play the Amazonian Princess. She replied (paraphrase mode on) "Wonderwoman is lame. All she does is fly around in her invisible jet and the only weapon she has is her lasso." She then went on to wish the best of luck to whichever actress would take on the role of such a crappy superhero.

I hate to tell you this Megs, but the 70s are over. Wonder Woman can not only fly without the aid of something as silly as an invisible jet, but she's been praised by Batman as one of the best melee fighters on earth. But go ahead and trash the character, and since your acting career is so secure and wonderful, feel free to turn down the biggest female superhero role that exists. Ignore the fact that if the first movie is a success DC/Warner Brothers will almost certainly follow up with two sequels and perhaps finally their JLA crossover movie. I understand dear, that you're rich enough to last forever.

I was born in the mid-late 80s so I have almost no knowledge of the "lame" Lynda Carter Wonder Woman incarnation other than through pictures and clips posted on online forums. I am not a zealous comic book fan, but I have read her stuff as portrayed by JLA writers. However, the version I would most like to see brought to the big screen is the Bruce Timm and Paul Dini imagining of Wonder Woman in Justice League/Unlimited. A strong, intelligent, witty, diplomatic warrior woman that both Superman and Batman consider their equal. In the beginning her character was created with the intention of showing feminists "See a girl can be strong too!" and to prevent the Justice League from being a total sausagefest, but in the right hands she has ascended to the level of being an irreplaceable member of the Justice League's inner circle.

If for some reason, young girls idolized a comic book character, Wonder Woman would be a pretty damn good choice for a role model if you're between the age of six and ten. So fuck you Megan Fox and your alien thumb.


Peter said...

Now that the rage is leaving your body, we can start the healing process. Who would you like to play Wonder Woman?

Anonymous said...

Um what was the point of that

Dame Dr. Foxy Brown said...

There was no point to it, that's why it's a rant, which is pretty much a stream of consciousness angry railing. I don't really hate Megan Fox, I just wish she'd STFU and GBTW making shitty movies. Wonder Woman is one of my favorite superheroes, and to answer you Pete, I'd personally rather they actually attempt to find an actress of Greek/Mediterranean heritage that actually looked the part. She can be an unknown here, but perhaps someone that's well known in her own country, but as an aside, Morena Bacarrin looks remarkably like old school Wonder Woman

Ricey said...

I just hope Foxy is planning to go head up one of the major studios. With her in charge movies might be worth going to see again.

Cool Hip said...

"A stunningly self aware dumb cunt, but one nonetheless."

Yup, sums up my thoughts on her pretty well. While reading this, I felt your rage spill out of Internet and punch me in the face.

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